Archive | January, 2014

Punjabi Fish Curry

20 Jan

Lately, the Farklepants household seems to run on kryptonite. I get up before sunrise and crash-land sometime around 10:17P, which also happens to be about the time Mr. Farklepants’ intellectual algorithms start peaking and he attempts to engage me in conversation. When we’re both home, he can usually tell by the blank glassy-eyed expression on my face if intellectual conversation is going to be successful or not, but since we’re both super busy lately, we find ourselves tangled up in a text- and/or phone relationship. Mostly, by the time he breaks away from his project and phones to whisper a sweet little something in my ear, I’m already a sleeping sloth. And by the time I’m perky and full of life, he’s snoring peacefully next to me. We’re like 2 ships passing in the night, really, and there’s been many a time in which I’ve contemplated blowing his fog horn staying in bed next to him rather than getting up to go to work.

And speaking of working, I committed myself to a temporary weekend job on top of my regular full-time job for the next THREE months, which means I’m pretty much working nonstop. Sans weekends. It’s a blessing as well as a curse. On the upside, my bills will finally get paid down a bit. On the downside, mundane stuff like laundry barely gets done. And bi-weekly blogging?! Oh please, Fuhgitabboutit. Okay?

I’m only into week 3 of running this insane schedule, and I’m already having improper fantasies about having time to myself. To do nothing. Especially now that I have a gift certificate for a ‘deluxe’ 75-min pedicure burning a hole in my pocket, which my sister-in-law extraordinaire sent me a month ago. As an ironic twist of nature, I inherited my mother’s pesky affliction Teutonic sense of responsibility, and vegetating in a cushiony massage chair for longer than 10 min when there is [this much] stuff to do, seems like a capital sin… punishable by eternal hell fire. And have I told you yet that I spent my entire youth in a Catholic “school for girls”?

Also on the wickedly fun agenda last weekend, was the fact that – when I finally did manage to venture near the couch with the crazy idea of ‘relaxing’ – I stepped on something sharp in our carpet and cut my toe. Only, I didn’t actually know I ‘cut’ my toe until it bled all over our white fabric ottoman. Yeah. I’m convinced it’s karma’s way of telling me that our living room desperately needs vacuuming. POOF! There goes that pedicure fantasy…

Oh, and dinner! Yes, dinner. Always dinner. I figured that if I am to survive this crazy schedule, I need to stick with quick dinner ideas and one-pot meals. Curry is exactly that. It’s delicious, and it doesn’t need to be a labor of love with these easy tricks I’ve scooped up along my culinary path.

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PUNJABI FISH CURRY
(A blend of Internet’s best)
For the curry base:
– 2 12-15oz cans of coconut milk
– 1 cup of water, as needed
– a 1 inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
– 3-4 cloves of garlic, pressed
– 1 large onion, diced
– spice paste (see below)
– olive oil, as needed
– pomegranate seeds, for garnish

For the spice paste: (*)
– 2 Tbsp of Garam Masala, Punjab style
– 2 Tbsp of sweet curry powder
– 1 Tbsp of hot curry powder (like Maharaja powder)
– 2 Tbsp of red chili paste (or 1 for milder curries)
– 1.5 tsp of ground cumin
(*) I usually buy my spices from “Penzeys Spices”. You can order online here or order from “Surfas Culinary District” by clicking the orange flash link on the right side of this page.

For the veggies & fish: (*)
– 2 lbs of assorted firm fleshed fish like salmon, tilapia, pollock… whichever combination you like, but try to pick sustainable species.
– 1 lbs of shrimp, shelled & deveined
– 1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced
– 1 yellow bell pepper, thinly sliced
– 1 package of fresh baby spinach leaves
(*) feel free to use whichever vegetables you like best. Likewise for the choice of fish as well

Debone, rinse and slice fish into large chunks. Set aside.
Peel & devein the shrimp, and set aside with the sliced chunks of fish.

Mix all the spices together and make a paste together with the lime juice, pressed garlic, grated ginger and red chili paste. Use a bit of water if too dry.

In a large, heavy pot, heat olive oil over medium-high heat and sauté diced onions and sliced bell peppers until beginning to soften and their liquid is cooked down. Add all of the spice paste and cook for a few minutes until fragrant and well blended.

Add both cans of coconut milk and bring to a boil. Reduce down to a thick, sauce-like consistency. If too thick, add some water. Consequently, if too thin, add some almond meal.

Add baby spinach and let it wilt down in the curry sauce. Add shrimp and fish, give it a quick stir and cover the pan. Cook – without stirring – for a few minutes until the fish & shrimp are cooked through. Serve over rice and sprinkle some pomegranate seeds over the top for color.

Warm Blue Cheese Sriracha Corn Dip

9 Jan

I confess that I know nothing about American football. Well, almost nothing. I know that the Minnesota Vikings’ uniform colors are purple and GOLD!, not yellow. It looks pretty yellow to me, but who am I to judge?! I also know that you’re not supposed to hold a conversation during the game for longer than, say, 30 seconds. Commercials is when your verbal diarrhea is tolerated. And I know that you’re not supposed to jump up with arms extended and a loud ‘HELL YEAH!!!’ when there’s a flag against your team. A flag is evil… and a tat effeminate, if you ask me, but I’ll hold my vile tongue.

I have no clue what all the conferences mean, let alone how they stack up against each other. I’m truly a lost atom in the football vortex. I understand just about as much from football as I would from any scientific debate in Norwegian, and that notion is aggravated by the fact that I can’t even keep football and baseball straight. I kid you not, 90% of the time, I still think the Red Socks are a football team! Ouch.

The kicker is (ain’t that a nice pun?!), I actually enjoy watching football. Very much like the cats. I don’t per se lounge on the ottoman like a jezebel and elaborately start grooming my nether regions, but – like the resident felines – I’m pleasantly entertained by the movement on the screen. I like seeing all the pretty colors. And then there is Mr. Farklepants too, with his spontaneous loud outbursts of approval and/or animated annoyance about certain referee calls. Watching him watch football, amuses me. I’ll come right out saying that there is no specific team I’m a fan of, and as such, I mostly root for the team wearing the prettiest colors the team that pleases my visual cortex the most. Contrary to what I just stated (I am female after all), the Seahawks will always have my vote because a) I have very dear friends in Seattle and feel a misplaced loyalty to their team, b) Seattle is quite possibly the coolest city in the USA and c) Pike Place Market. Enough said there.

What I like best about the ‘Super Bowl’, though, is that it comes with a widely accepted ‘diet pardon’ that makes it OK to stuff your face with chips dipped in whatever melts into a tasty homogenized blob in the oven. A while ago, I found a recipe for a hot blue cheese & onion dip and, true to my non-conformist nature, I turned that deliciousness into a corn version… with a bit of help from Pinterest. It was love at first bite.

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Warm Blue Cheese Sriracha Corn Dip
(Adapted from several hot dip recipes I found on Pinterest)

– 4 oz of cream cheese, softened
– 3 oz of blue cheese, crumbled (such a Roquefort or Danish Blue)
– 1/2 cup of sour cream
– 1/2 cup of mayonnaise
– 1 1/2 cups of Monterrey Jack cheese, grated + more for topping
– 2.5 cups of fresh or frozen corn
– 1 red bell pepper, diced finely
– 1 green bell pepper, diced finely
– 2 shallots, diced finely
– 2-4 Tbsp of Sriracha sauce, depending on the level of spiciness you desire.
– 1 tsp of ground cumin
– 1 tsp of Hungarian sweet paprika
– 2-3 green onions, for garnish.
– salt, to taste

Preheat oven to 350F.

If using frozen corn, take out of the freezer and let it defrost in a sieve, allowing the thawing juices to drain. If using fresh corn, cut corn off of the cobs and set aside. I prefer fresh when in season, but either works just fine!

In a skillet (I use my 12-inch Lodge Cast Iron skillet), sauté the shallots and bell peppers until beginning to soften. Turn off the heat and add reserved corn, allowing the corn to cool down the skillet just a bit.

In a bowl, mix cream cheese with mayo, sour cream, Sriracha Sauce & Monterey jack cheese. Add salt to taste. Add cumin & corn mixture from skillet and mix until well combined. Either pour mixture back into skillet or pour into an oven-safe casserole dish. Top with a little bit of Monterey jack cheese, and bake uncovered for approx. 30-40 min, until mixture is bubbly.

Slice green onions finely and sprinkle over top of dip. Serve hot, with tortilla chips, crackers or crusty French bread slices.

Stout Beer Vinaigrette with Honey & Garlic

3 Jan

Yes. You read that right. This is a post about beer vinaigrette, because, well, I’m Belgian. Full stop. Beer goes into everything in Belgian cuisine. As matter of national pride, it’s practically a sin not to include beer in your food.

I figured that with the massive volume of salads being eaten nowadays, what with it being nary 3 days into the new year and all, I would contribute a refreshing new take on dressing for those of you who are dead tired of Dijon vinaigrette or plain ole’ ranch. After all, variety is the spice of life, no?!

I really have no specific story attached to this recipe, other than perhaps the incident in which I was caught enjoying a pint whilst cooking and accidentally knocked over my $9.75 bottle dark beer from the Leffe abbey. Besides defiantly dripping from my kitchen counter, it also made in into my bra our salad dressing for the evening, et voila… I firmly believe that this is the fashion in which much culinary greatness is discovered. I mean, how else have we learned to eat stuff like snails? Right?! At some point, someone in medieval times must have looked at those and said: “Yummeth! I shalt grilleth those with alliums!”. Or how did humankind ever figure out which mushrooms were edible and which ones weren’t? And may I remind you that back then, there was no Pepto-Bismol or wet wipes? You’re welcome. No, I think the best recipes come to fruition by simply trying stuff out or, like in this case, purely by accident.

Going against all odds, this earthy vinaigrette is lovely as a dressing for grilled seafood, a potato salad or for more robust salads like a traditional steakhouse salad with spinach, blue cheese and grilled strip loin. It pairs surprisingly well with roasted root vegetables, or more hearty greens like kale. Throw some crumbled bacon in your salad, and this beer vinaigrette is just divine.

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Stout Beer Vinaigrette with Honey & Garlic
(Adapted from unplanned tastiness)
– 1 small bottle (10-11oz) of dark stout beer, preferably a Belgian abbey beer like dark Leffe but Guinness will do as well.
– 1.5 Tbsp of red wine vinegar
– 1.5 Tbsp of balsamic vinegar
– 3/4 cup of walnut oil
– 1-2 Tbsp of honey, to taste
– 2 shallots, minced or very finely chopped
– 1 garlic clove, grated or minced
– salt & pepper to taste
– a pinch of cayenne pepper, if you like things a bit spicy

Open beer, pour in a glass container and allow to de-fizz for an hour or two. Resist urge to drink it.

In a small saucepan, pour flat stout and bring to a simmer over medium-low heat. Simmer for only a minute or 2-3 to allow alcohol to evaporate a bit, stir honey in beer and cool to room temperature. Alternatively, if you don’t mind having a wee bit of alcohol in your dressing, you can skip “cooking” the beer altogether.

In a small pan, sauté the chopped shallots and minced garlic in a little bit of olive oil or butter until softened. Set aside and let cool.

Combine room temperature beer with shallot mixture and all other ingredients, and whisk well to incorporate everything. Store in a glass or non-reactive container in a cool place, and shake before each use.

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